Sean: And these are your reasons? Delta: Do you think I have others? My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent. Seanreflected that ‘entirely transparent’ meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn’t see them at all.
“Ever since I was little, I’ve always been told I’m callous and unfeeling. Why did the faces on people change? I never understood what expressions were. I’d take a mirror and practice making them every day, but they never quite looked right. One day, my mother told me something. Deep inside a person’s chest is an object called a ‘heart’… I remember thinking, ‘That’s unfair.’ Why was everyone hiding this important thing inside so no one else could see? I wanted to see what it looked like.”
ace: he would probably win due to his strength and size advantage, but you should challenge him to a fistfight anyway, just on the off chance that you win. also, he is easy to confuse if you just wear different clothes. if you do that, then you would win the fistfight handily
snake: if you’re punching him for no reason, you would probably win since he can’t fucking see you. if you’re punching him after hurting his sister in any way, you would lose the fist fight within 0.005 seconds
santa: has a six pack and a secret gun and is very angry. you would not win in a fistfight
clover: might be small, but is full of unbridled rage at all times and will immediately sock you in the jaw without thinking first. you would not win in a fistfight
junpei: hands down, you would win a fistfight against junpei, as he is a weak and scrawny nerd. you wouldnt even have to fight him, you can just tie his shoelaces together when he’s not looking
akane: though you would almost definitely win in a fistfight against her if you’re in a timeline where she has not fought you before, she will probably just jump to another timeline after beating you and use all your tactics against you. you would probably not win in a fist fight, unless you expose her to fire, in which case you would still probably not win in the end even if you win the fistfight because she will trap you on a boat and threaten to kill you
seven: he’s a fucking cop. you would not win in a fistfight
lotus: though her big bazongas might seem to get in the way, she is actually angry constantly and is ready to punch out anyone, at any time, for any reason, especially if you threaten her. you would not win in a fistfight
9th man: he dies if you look at him wrong. you win the fistfight with little to no effort
Shall we extend this to the VLR characters as well?
K: When your fist bounces off the armour and your bones shatter into a million fragments, you realise that you would not win in a fistfight.
Clover: She’s still the unbridled force of rage that she was in 999, but now she’s been professionally trained. All you see is a pink blur before she breaks all your limbs and then stomps you into oblivion. You would not win in a fistfight.
Tenmyouji: Another returnee from 999, we beat him then and expect to beat him now. Just watch out for the sneaky kick he’s picked up since then.
Quark: He’s ten-years-old and unconscious. Go ahead and win in a fistfight. You monster.
Luna: She is three-laws-compliant and therefore you would win in a fistfight provided no other humans are threatened with harm as she wouldn’t fight back. Given your progress down this list so far, however, I suspect she would find some way to restrain you and stop you from challenging everyone you meet to a fistfight.
Dio: Who knows? In theory, he’s the top agent of a world-ending terrorist organisation, but his form has been incredibly inconsistent. Allow him even the slightest chance to start monologuing rather than pay attention, and you would win in a fistfight.
Alice: Remember how Clover thrashed us? Alice trained Clover. You would not win in a fistfight.
Phi: She’s small and slight, so you’d think you would have an easy time. However, the moment you win she would shift to another timeline. All she needs is one chance to land one of her devastating low-gravity-high-kicks (which she can somehow do even in normal gravity) and it would be game over. You would not win in a fistfight.
Sigma: On the face of it, an approximately even match up, Sigma’s strong robotic arms making up for his old age. But there’s one thing you missed: Sigma still thinks he’s 22. He overexerts himself at the start of the fight and twists his back. This causes him to realise his advanced age and the AB project collapses. You would win in a fistfight, but doom human civilisation.
ztd verison. for kicks
Carlos: you wouldnt win, this man is trained to pick people up and run. hed maybe let you win if it wasnt a fight w/malicious intent bc hes just that nice.
Eric: he’s easily angered if ur fighitng him at dcom and that could give him an advantage. but do you really want to beat him? he just sells ice cream. either way, it’s a toss-up re:who wins.
Phi: see above. unless youre in a timeline where she got nerfed in which case you win by default, unfortunately.
Q: this kid will wipe the floor with your limp lifeless body in seconds flat. but look at them theyre barely over 4 ft tall. theyre the nicest kid in the planet. why would you do this to them. youre gonna lose anyway
Junpei: he’s pissed at the world and in top physical shape, but
he can stand to be taken down a peg or two. so even though you should do it for everyone’s sake, theres very slight chance youll win this fist fight
Akane: she’s got her time goddess powers AND somethign about dcom makes her erratic and dangerous. she can shift. akane’s got this one in the bag
Diana: listen. listen why would you want to fistfight diana. that being said, she’s also got a lot of pent up anger, can EASILY knock you out in a fist fight.
Mira: we all saw when she ripped eric’s chest open with her bare hands right. dotn fistfight mira because you will loose And die, no two ways about it.
Sigma: this dude knows what hes doing. he’s wise and Buff, and ready to protect everything. he’ll win in no time.
Delta: i mean. you dont stand a chance but everybody needs to punch him in the face.
i'm very gay. i'd like a few dollars. 