Elma: Fight Elma. I mean, you’ll lose BADLY as she kicks your ass, but you’ll probably thank her for it afterwards. You’ll get a front-row seat to an Elma ass-kicking, and Elma will find a way to make it a training exercise where she helps you come out stronger as a result. Fight Elma for the good of mankind.
Lin: Why? Why would you fight Lin? She’s 13, and she’s adorable. You could probably beat her, but would it be worth it? You’d be an ass to fight Lin, and you’ll feel horrible afterwards. Plus, literally everyone in BLADE will kick the shit out of you afterwards. It’s not worth it; don’t fight Lin.
Gwin: You can fight Gwin. You’ll probably beat him, too. The boy is kind of a weakling, and it won’t really take you much effort to beat him. Fight Gwin; it’ll be good for laughs.
Irina: DO NOT FIGHT IRINA UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH. She will literally kill you. And even if you somehow survive, she’ll utterly humiliate you. She lives to fight, and you’d just be another victim, especially if she’s already in a bad mood.
L: You could try, but he’d probably misunderstand the intent, and you’d end up feeling really bad about it afterwards. However, he’d probably take you out for ice cream either way. Have ice cream with L instead.
Doug: Fight Doug. He’s big, and he fights for a living, so you’ll probably lose, but, if you do beat him, you’ll get mad street cred within BLADE, and he’ll probably respect you for it as well. Fight Doug.
Lao: Fight Lao. He deserves a good ass kicking for all the stunts he’s pulled; Karma needs to come knocking. You’d need to be on your A-game to beat him, since one wrong move and he’ll take you out, but if you do beat him, not only will it feel great, but you’ll probably earn Elma’s respect as well, so it’s win/win.
Phog: Really? You wanna fight Phog? The guy wouldn’t hurt a fly. You’ll win, but you’ll feel terrible about it for days. Plus, if Frye finds out, he’ll beat the hell out of you. Don’t fight Phog.
Frye: Depends. If he’s sober, he’ll probably beat you. They don’t call him the Killer Ostrich for nothing. But, get enough booze in him, and it might slow him down enough that you have a chance. However, you still have to be on your toes, because don’t underestimate an experienced drunken brawler.
Hope: Don’t fight Hope. You could beat her, easily, but she’s got an enormous following who would kill you afterwards. Plus, how could you fight Hope? She’d probably think she did something wrong and would spend the next week trying to make it up to you.
Murderess: Okay, you realize she literally stabs and shoots people in the back? She probably deserves to be fought, but she’ll kill you before the fight ever starts. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Murderess.
Nagi: Fight Nagi. I mean, Nagi will beat you, that much is guaranteed. However, he’ll look really badass while doing so, so it may be worth fighting him just to see it. Plus, if you manage to even land a hit or two on him, you’ll probably earn his respect as well.
Celica: You are a terrible person if you want to fight Celica. She’s already nervous about living among humans, and you want to worsen that by fighting her? Don’t fight Celica.
Mia: You could fight Mia, and you could probably beat her pretty easily. You might feel bad about it, but she’d probably have a blast if you fought her, and it would get her fired up about wanting to get stronger, so the two of you would probably set out on an adventure afterwards. Fight Mia; she could use the experience.
H.B.: For the love of god, fight H.B. His smug ass could use a good beating, and he’d probably be all for fighting you as a test of his abilities. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll beat him, but if you do, it’ll feel so good. Fight H.B.
Alexa: I mean, you could fight Alexa, and you’ll probably beat her. Tika will thank you for it, too, since it’ll give her a moment of peace. But why would you? You could probably just show Alexa a really cool Skell and accomplish the same effect. Just be prepared to stand there listening to her for hours.
Bozé: Fight Bozé. Almost the entire Xeno population in NLA will thank you for it. Plus, he’d probably be all for fighting you, thinking it would help with your training. He’s got experience on his side so it may be a challenge, but his advanced age means you’ll probably have an edge on agility and stamina, so you can win.
Yelv: Don’t fight Yelv. The guy regularly beats up people, and has no qualms about knocking out teeth. You might be able to match him, but really, do you wanna fight your Pard? No, team up with him to fight someone else instead.
Fellow Phog fans, can we collaboratively compile a list of the things Phog mentions doing at various ages? Example: “I haven’t felt this strong since I gave Frye a piggyback ride when I was 10!” Some of them are really cute tidbits and others are hidden behind specific dialog branches, and I’m sure there are more of them than just these that I remember.
When Phog was…
7: hit the fire alarm, because it was a big red button, and it was there.
?: climbed a goalpost on the football field, also because it was there.
8: went on a family trip to the Grand Canyon, had one of the best apple pies his mom ever made
10: gave Frye (who would have been 16) a piggyback ride, felt strong
15: apparently played football and scored the game-winning touchdown, incidentally it was also the last time anyone praised him
21: was asked by Frye to buy Scotch for him, which made him feel depended upon
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