nsfw text – – Page 3 – i'm very gay. i'd like a few dollars.

pocketplant:

ohmamadontyoucry:

once i said “bust a nut” in front of my eleven year old sister and i didn’t want to get in trouble for it when my dad asked what that meant so i said it meant being mad at something and my dad has meetings regularly with four star admirals and i rly didn’t think he’d remember this but he dropped his shit n said he was gonna bust a nut n explained to them what i told him it meant and now, apparently, they like the phrase

Ellie you’re gonna cause a gotdamn international crisis

armedandgayngerous:

coonfootproductions:

Proper punctuation is everything, people.

you: nut
me, an intellectual: boy syrup

laurelhach:

you know what i’ll use my own imagination for a while

hebibs-art:

nintendo during splatoon 1; oh lets have our first splatfest be something nice and simple! like cats vs dogs! lets make it blue and orange like the inkling girl and boy!
nintendo during splatoon 2; lets make the first official splatfest cum color and blood color

bigbigbigtruck:

vulgarweed:

peyta:

ly0nheart1:

Apparently you fuck the mechanic while being super uninterested.

He’s probably having an existential crisis because the cover of the book is exactly what’s happening to him while he’s balls deep in the mechanic.

The early roots of Chuck Tingle metaporn.

Pounded In The Butt By Infinitely Recursive Depictions Of My Engine Failure

lesbianshepard:

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

gudroo:

snoopingasusualisee:

Vore is the Superwholock of kinks

i’m sorry but honestly this is some pretty entry-level analysis. superwholock is expansive and there are definitely people who take it too far, shove it in peoples faces, and then complain when anyone points out the issues with it, but otherwise it’s comparitively tame and vanilla. if anything, bdsm is the superwholock of kinks, even down to being a combination of multiple individual kinks and shows respectively. on the other hand vore is also surprisingly expansive, but unlike superwholock a lot of the people who enjoy it tend to be pretty self-aware of how embarassing it is at this point and keep their enjoyment of it more of a secret, and it’s practically impossible to describe how and why it’s appealing.

what im saying is that vore is actually the homestuck of kinks

wabutan:

@volte-academy-official

gerardway420:

yo not to be rude but what the fuck is going on

garbage-empress:

thewordywarlock:

autisticgayrey:

There’s an alcoholic beverage in Star Wars called “lum” which has no risk of alcohol poisoning so there are drinking contests called “lumguzzling” contests.

I really, really, really hate star wars.

are these lumguzzling contests accompanied by jizz music

I’m never sure whether Star Wars EU writers are just that unaware or if there’s been a decades long in-joke where they try to sneak as many cum references as possible into the mythos