mitchfynde:

devilinhighheels:

my-very-own-opinion:

devilinhighheels:

my-very-own-opinion:

twerkcircus:

thegoodlion:

soulsoaker:

turing-tested:

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

• socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
• climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
• crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell 
• the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
• do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer

Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me.
If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door.
When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN.
Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW.
Hope this helped.

The floor near the wall may creak on a regular floor but not on the stairs. If you need to walk up and down stairs, walk as close to the edge of the stair near the wall/railing as possible

Are there really parents who deny their kids food…?

There’s a book about “how to train your kid” or something like that which even recommends denying food as a way of punishment

What the fuck??? This is literally denying your kid basic human rights. How can parents be so cruel?

The world is a fucked up place

I hope none of my followers need these tips, but here they are. It’s a fucked up world and you might as well know some tricks.