“Ever since I was little, I’ve always been told I’m callous and unfeeling. Why did the faces on people change? I never understood what expressions were. I’d take a mirror and practice making them every day, but they never quite looked right. One day, my mother told me something. Deep inside a person’s chest is an object called a ‘heart’… I remember thinking, ‘That’s unfair.’ Why was everyone hiding this important thing inside so no one else could see? I wanted to see what it looked like.”
It’s time GameFreak stepped up and made a mature Pokémon game for mature adults like me. I don’t like cute pink things. That’s for girls. I want blood and violence. A sandcastle Pokémon? No thanks—the beach is for babies. Why not make a cool Pokémon like a gun dog or a truck eagle? Doesn’t GameFreak know that dark and cynical individuals like myself are the true fans? A teddy bear Pokémon? I’d rather cuddle a severed head. Give me blood and sex. Show me a boob Pokémon. My maturity necessitates it. When I saw Comfey for the first time I threw up. Flowers? Why not weed? I guess GameFreak is too scared to grow up and meet me at my level.
i'm very gay. i'd like a few dollars. 