z-nogyrop:

z-nogyrop:

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

sharoneffinger:

hey uhhh

does anyone have some good, non-sexual 9S fanart?

cause you can shovel that shit into my dms. thanks.

chancethereaper:

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

honestlygarbage:

all-things-devours:

According to a letter Tolkien wrote in 1971, his school-friends “used to write his initials as ‘JR²T’ and pronounce them ‘to rhyme with dirt’.”

you: jolkein rolkein rolkein tolkein

me, an intellectual: jirt