i showed this to my friend and she, blank faced, turned away and said “this is why no one likes you”
rosie how dare you blog this where i could see it.
Category: Uncategorized
Imagine all of your OCs trying to have a civilized dinner together
I was in a group interview for a petsmart once, and this girl who had bullied me at our past job was there. We were all told to go around the circle and say why we wanted to work there. All of us sensible folks answered with generic interview stuff like “I love animals” and “I admire the help this company gives to shelters” and all that… then the bully spoke up.
I think of my life as having occurred in four parts. The first part closed with the revelation that songs on the radio are in fact pre recorded and the artists are not being summoned to the station with dark magic every time someone requests their song. The second divider was the first time I tasted custard pie. And the event that launched me here, into the most surreal and disjointed phase of my life, was this girl’s answer to the fateful question “why do you want to work at petsmart?”
And the answer
I shit you not…
“I have a reptile fetish.”
The silence after that statement… the hopelessness, the confusion, the despair in that silence, it fundamentally changed me as a human being. I witnessed cosmic justice at its darkest and its coldest. The universe is powerful, the universe is vengeful, and the universe is merciless.
mmm. yes. i AM uncomfortable.
oo long tea
Ok, sorry I caved in but I had to doodle UB Burst as well! Also is it just me or has this year been like “The year of the Clown” Anyways have a bonus song to go with this ( x )
✿ Commissions are opened / info ✿ Support me on Ko-fi and get a sketch!✿ Twitter ✿ Available as a shirt @ TeePublic Store or Society6 shop ✿
¿?
me
for why tho
these life hack videos always baffle me so much like, at what point do you just buy gloves?
I listen to shit like Speedcore and Melodic noise and even I can tell you that the bg music is shit
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”
Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”
everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban
come on it hasn’t even been 10 fucking seconds
GOD DAMN IT
i fucking hate this stupid piece of shit genie fuck him i hate him so fucking much
i'm very gay. i'd like a few dollars. 