homjom:

able-bodied neurotypicals will be like “you can’t dwell on your disorder/disability/illness, just live your best life regardless!” but they don’t realize how much work that takes for mentally ill/neurodivergent/disabled folks

like i am constantly trying to figure out how to live my best life, i am. but it can be so hard to figure out what actually helps and what doesn’t, especially when you’ve got to juggle multiple illnesses/disabilities that require conflicting care, i.e. i know that going on walks regularly significantly improves my depression but it also significantly increases my back and joint pain.

so not only can it be difficult to figure out What Helps, we are always having to make choices based on least harm rather than greatest reward, i.e. it’s not always like a) stay in and enjoy a movie vs b) go out and have fun with friends, it’s often more like a) stay in to avoid the anxiety/pain flare up/sensory overload of going out or b) go out to avoid the isolation/lack of support/probable depression spiral from staying in. and i have to do this risk assessment with virtually every decision i make: what to eat, what to wear, how to spend my free time, whether to accept a job offer, how i cut my hair–all significantly influenced by my disabilities/illnesses.

the point is, it takes a lot of work to stay afloat as a mentally ill/neurodivergent/disabled person. it takes a lot of energy and a lot of time and resources, and this isn’t a hobby we asked for or enjoy. it’s just what it takes to keep on keeping on.