why do people always advertise skin products as making your skin “radiant”? like “clean” and “clear” i get but i’ve never once looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “you know what would be better? if i were bioluminescing like some sort of hideous deep-sea creature”
actually, you know what, if clerasil is gonna straight up turn me into some aquatic horrorterror, sign me the fuck up. fuck college, i’m all about that “lurking in swamps and frightening sleep-deprived drivers on long interstate trips with my literally radiant skin” life now. we gon be a cryptid for a living
reblog if youd rather be a cryptid
Catch me devouring hitchikers in the midwest with my extendable prehensile jaws.
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i'm very gay. i'd like a few dollars. 