Day Eighty-One

targetretales:

-A pair of jocks came through my lane, eager to make their purchases of Yu-Gi-Oh decks. I can only hope that this was in preparation for a niche offshoot of chess boxing.

-A girl handed her grandmother a five-dollar bill to purchase something for her. After the purchase was made, the girl demanded her money back, as since the item was now bought, the grandmother has no need for it anymore. This has been the ultimate hustle and I am grateful to have been taking notes.

-After I asked a woman a question, she immediately became defensive. I am not sure if I went too far and overstepped the acceptable boundaries of cashier conversation. She stood there, suspicious wondering how I could ask such a question. I stood there, scanning, regretting asking how she was.

-A man called the store to ask permission to ride his hoverboard. He was denied, but I expect the kind of man who wishes to ride a hoverboard to do his shopping is not the kind of man to take no for an answer.

-A kid warned his mother not to eat her credit card. I did not see anything to cause this concern, but I trust he knows her better than I do.

-I was told by an elderly woman that she wished card readers would forcefully physically eject the cards onto the floor once they were done. I will now be paying a visit to the patent office.

-A college-aged man explained to me that the boxers he was purchasing were for emergencies. I understand him and appreciate his foresight.

-A woman’s shirt read “DICKS: Last Resort.” I cannot determine whether she is an overt abstinence-only Christian or an overt bisexual with a preference. Either way, I want this shirt.

-A sheriff came into the store with a serious look on his face. I was immediately filled with existential terror, anxiety, and nervous gas despite having never committed a crime in my life and also being white.

-Four college boys stumbled through my lane post-blaze. I know this as in the middle of his purchase, one stopped, blinked fervently, and loudly announced, “I just realized that there are four of us here!” They all laughed. One suggested investing in stocks. He handed me all of the cash in his wallet.